Coming up with a name for a new car is way more complex than it might seem. Carmakers spend a lot of time, money and effort to find suiting names, based on strict criteria: The name has to express the car’s character, must not have any odd meanings in other languages, and most importantly, should be easy to remember and pronounce. But even if the original name of the car is fine, it will usually get longer and longer or worse and worse - thanks to new engines, new drivetrains, or simply Special Editions.
These cars are all brilliant in their own way, but are lumbered with tremendously naff names. Here are 20 of the greatest cars in history with rubbish names - and I promise, they will roll right off the tongue.
1: Land Rover Range Rover Evoque 2.0 TD4 E-Capability 4x4 HSE Dynamic
I truly wish I was making this name up, but no, Jaguar Land Rover themselves decided to bestow a special edition, ultra luxurious Range Rover Evoque with this horrible monolith of a name, yes, it really is the official name, no it wasn’t an April fools joke.
You can shorten the name to “Land Rover Range Rover Evoque E-Capability HSE Dynamic”, but that still sounds like an entire essay to slap on the back of a car. Essentially, this 2016 special edition is meant to be an Evoque outfitted with every bit of high-end luxury Jaguar Land Rover was capable of throwing in. Only 100 units were made, making the car as rare as its name is long, unnecessary, and un-creative.
2: Honda Fit
A true classic of the ‘whoops I’ve just been on Google Translate’ car naming genre, this. What we nerds know as the oddly named Honda Jazz is actually called the Honda Fit in most other markets. However, the name Honda had originally earmarked for a car that prides itself on being small on the outside but big on the inside was ‘Fitta’ – which is a Swedish slang word for (why the fuck am I mentioning this) “female genitalia.” Wonder if this is where the popular Essex hobby of ‘vaJazzle’ got its name?
3: Porsche Panamera 4 E-Hybrid Sport Turismo 10 Years Edition
Sorry, let me just catch my breath.
4: Subaru FUCKS
At the 2020 Singapore Auto Show, Subaru revealed a souped up version of its family SUV the Forester and called it the Subaru FUCKS (standing for Subaru Forester Ultimate Customized Kits Special). This rather upset Subaru of America and the Subaru Corporation, which said the renegade model was the work of an ‘independent distributor’ in Singapore and wasn’t an official model. The car’s name was quickly erased from the show stand.
Despite being a top-end luxury car on paper, production of the car just failed, and the Subaru Forester Ultimate Customized Kits Special remains simply an interesting prototype with an abbreviation that’s taken on a literal swear word.
5: Toyota MR2
A very literal, sensible name here. ‘M’ for ‘midship’, denoting the car’s mid-engined layout. ‘R’ for ‘runabout’, which is pleasingly humble. And ‘2’, because it’s a two-seater. Can’t fault Toyota’s logic. But you can rib its translation, because said in a French accent, ‘emm-air-deux (midship-runabout-two-seater)’ is perilously close to the French phrase “est merde,” which means “it’s shit.”
To avert disaster in French-speaking markets, Toyota’s MX-5 rival was known simply as the ‘MR’. So don’t go calling it a hairdresser’s car: it’s literally the ‘Mister’. Or, er, ‘Monsieur.’
6: Audi R8 E-Tron
Sounds brassy, tough, and futuristic…this is what Audi confidently decreed when they introduced their 2013 all-electric Audi R8 as part of the Audi E-Tron series. But while the German car giant was high fiving over a celebratory bratwurst, the name was really hitting the fan in France. “Étron” is French for excrement. Whoopsie!
7: SSC Tuatara
SSC’s stunning hypercar may well be the first American automobile to top 300mph. It’s fast. It’s named after the tuatara lizard, a species native to New Zealand which is noted for its finned, spiky appearance.
The name itself is derived from the Maori language and translates as ‘peaks on the back’ – something the lizard and aero-honed supercar have in common. All terribly interesting, but there’s no getting away from the fact that if one pronounces the ‘ua’ sound as per the name ‘Juan’, as much of the world does, then this thing isn’t the ‘Too-At-Arr-Ah.’ It’s a Twerk-t-ara.
8: Geely PU
We’re forever being told that China will one day dominate the stock markets. Well, not with nameplates like this they won’t. The car’s name, Geely PU, immediately evokes images of a skunk spraying its oily, stinky scent on the truck’s seats. This isn’t funny.
9: Mitsubishi MAUS
Now, as everyone grown-up knows, there’s nothing funny about wearing flip flops, we all come into this world’s summer wearing flip flops and swim suits for summer vacation. However, succinctness has clearly never been a strength of Mitsubishi’s product naming department – the Mitsubishi Mini Active Urban Sandal (or Mitsubishi MAUS) does also sound like its’ coming soon to a Lululemon store near you. Though it never got past the concept stage, the electric car itself was 2002’s answer to the Smart Fortwo.
10: Ferrari LaFerrari
Main Article: 66 worst car names of all time - Part 1
“Can you go move The Ferrari into the driveway?” “Which Ferrari?” “The Ferrari The Ferrari!” “But which one?!”
11: Bentley Bentayaga
Bentley claims that the Bentayga is named after a fucking mountain peak that no one has ever fricking heard of. The rest of the world just sees “Ferrari LaFerrari” written differently.
12: Nissan Lannia
Lannia is Hebrew for Noble. Again with the self-promotion. How does that old rule go? “If you’re really noble, you won’t need to tell everyone how noble you are.” In America, we simply call this the Nissan Altima.
13: Vauxhall/Opel Adam Rocks
An open-topped version of the discontinued Opel Adam, the car, like the base, is named after the company’s founder, Adam Opel. We’re sure Opel did do a good job. But did he really need his own car to prove it? Sounds a little thirsty…
14: Isuzu MU WIZARD
The Isuzu MU (aka. Isuzu Myterious Utility) is a fine off-roader, and a strong selling nameplate for Isuzu. But in Japanese markets the 5-door variant was named as 'Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wonderful Imagiation Zing Adventure Romance Dream,’ which is way too long for a car name. Good luck trying to slap an entire essay like this onto a car.
To avert this essay-slapping disaster, the name was shortened to Isuzu MU WIZARD, but the name was really hitting the fan in Japan — WIZARD can easily be seen as Wizard, which is total crap. Things got even worse when the MU abbreviation was dropped for the second generation. Now if you bought the 5 door Isuzu MU in Japan, you’d be the proud owner of the Isuzu Wizard! How crappy is that? This isn’t Harry Potter.
15: Ferrari F12berlinetta
Main article: 66 worst car names of all time - Part 2
The name of this mad 730bhp V12 machine would be fine, if Ferrari hadn’t decided to format it in such an irritating way. Why the lack of space? Why the lower-case ‘b’ ?
16: McLaren 12C (Pre-2012)
It may not look like a particularly long name, but just trying saying ‘MP4 dash 12C’ out loud. Bit of a mouthful, no? It’s also an excessively geeky name for a supercar. No wonder why McLaren renamed the car as simply ‘12C’ in 2012!
17: Subaru Levorg
With a practical estate body, all-wheel drive and a 296bhp 2.0-litre Boxer engine, this car has a lot going for it, but it’s lumbered with a dreadful name. According to Subaru, the Levorg name is an amalgamation of three words: LEgacy, reVOlution, and touRinG. Could they not have picked out some different letters to make something a little better?
18: Subaru WRX STI
An icon of Japanese performance, the WRX stands for “World Rally Experimental,” but that’s not what makes Subaru’s legendary performance sedan have such an unfortunate name. As one of the most iconic rally-bred, performance-oriented Japanese sedans out there, the Subaru WRX STI has amassed a large following, bringing AWD Boxer speed and handling to the masses with unique styling, and great practicality.
Standing for “Subaru Technica International,” STI denotes that a Subaru model is among the best performance-tuned beasts that come from the company. Yet, as much pride for Subaru’s performance history as it inspires, its also rather unfortunate choice of letters, as “STI” is more commonly used to refer to a “Sexually Transmitted Infection” today.
19: Gumpert Apollo
An absolute monster of a supercar, the Gumpert Apollo is a German-made racecar for the road from the early 2000s. Using the twin-turbo V8 from an Audi RS6 tuned to produce an insane 790 hp, a lightweight body, and chassis, as well as aerodynamic tuning, the Gumpert Apollo rockets from 0-60 mph in 3.1 seconds, and dominates on track with its handling.
One of the most unique and crazy looking supercars, the Gumpert Apollo may not be to everyone’s taste looks-wise but is awesome with its performance. Although in terms of the name, “Apollo” sounds cool, the brand name “Gumpert” simply doesn’t. No wonder then, that Gumpert Sportwagenmanufaktur GmBH as a brand was succeeded by another brand called Apollo afterward.
The moral of this situation here? Here’s a top tip for you: if you’re looking to start a car company, don’t start the company with your surname! It’s just gonna sound awkward.
20: Lamborghini Reventón
Lamborghini’s highest-end, ultimate supercar from 2007, the Reventon is an epic stealth fighter jet-inspired performance machine, with a name that has a rather unfortunate meaning in Spanish. Based on the Lamborghini Murcielago, the Reventon overhauled the bat-like supercar with a new body and interior. With a fighter jet style digital display, the Reventon was stunningly advanced for the 2000s, predicting many styling and technology trends to come for supercars.
“Reventon” is a cool sounding name at first, and may sound uniquely Italian, there’s no denying that. But, for Spanish speakers, Reventon means something else entirely. Translating roughly to “burst” or “blowout,” Reventón is a way to refer to a car’s tire going flat in the Spanish language - not an ideal meaning for a car’s name, especially a performance-oriented one.
And that’s the end of this list. Be sure to drop a like and Stay tuned for more! Also feel free to drop in any car suggestion you like! Here’s a poll you can use to suggest which one you think is the worst.
- Land Rover Range Rover Evoque 2.4 TDI E-Capability HSE Dynamic
- Honda Fit
- Porsche Panamera 4 E-Hybrid Sport Turismo 10 Years Edition
- Subaru FUCKS
- Toyota MR2
- Audi R8 E-Tron
- SSC Tuatara
- Geely PU
- Mitsubishi MAUS
- Ferrari LaFerrari
- Bentley Bentayga
- Nissan Lannia
- Vauxhall/Opel Adam Rocks
- Isuzu MU WIZARD
- Ferrari F12berlinetta
- McLaren MP4-12C
- Subaru Levorg
- Subaru WRX STI
- Gumpert Apollo
- Lamborghini Reventón