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I feel like hearing bones cracking when you are injured by anything is out of place. Here is what I think the sounds should be.
Lava: Normal.
Low impact: meaty punch
Medium impact: Keep normal.
High impact: splat noise.
Minigun: bullet zip sound
Crushed: record the sound of a bell pepper getting slowly squashed by the flat end of a knife blade.
Hammer: swoosh sound effect and the sound of a jalapeño getting squashed.
Shredder: Simply take a rolling pin and squash a tomato or bell pepper.
Acid: sizzling noise
Fall damage: bone snap
Spike impale: just stab a bell pepper.
Bass boosted: firecracker explosion and blood drip combined.
Nuked: rumbling and then going completely mute.
Sharp blade: A knife being sharpened.
Garbage fire: bacon sizzle.
Frozen: take a bell pepper and slowly crush it with your fingers.
Why a bell pepper? That vegetable getting crushed, crunched, or sliced has sounds that can be used correctly as hurt sounds.
This is the same strategy that Mortal Kombat 11 sound designers used to great effect.