The torture of embarrassment isn’t over yet. This time it’s not coming from Severn Valley
What’s this, then?
It’s a rhino attempting to sneak into a daschunds-only cocktail party by donning a pair of floppy ears, and pretending to like sausages.
Rubbish at disguise?
Exactly. Though the Juke-R might share a name and (at least some of) a silhouette with Nissan’s smallest SUV, this is the flimsiest of camouflages for what is, below the surface, a snorting, savage supercar.
Peel back the Juke-R’s matte-black bodywork and, below the surface, you’ll find a Nissan GT-R: monster twin-turbo V6, trick four-wheel drive, double-clutch gearbox and all.
Haven’t I seen this before?
You have. Nissan revealed its original Juke R prototype back in 2012, hailing it ‘the world’s first crossover supercar’. Subsequently – and perhaps foolishly – they let us have a punt in it.
So what’s new about this one?
Clearly Nissan decided the 485bhp output – and 3.7-second 0-62mph time – of the original Juke-R was woefully inadequate, and liable to see you embarrassed at the traffic lights by, say, an enthusiastically driven Fiat 500X.
So Juke-R 2.0 makes a nice round 600bhp – not, in fact, by employing the Nismo GT-R’s engine, but rather a remapped version of the 2012 GT-R’s powerplant.
That means a 0-60mph run of something like three seconds flat, with a top speed of – well, no one’s put the Juke-R on a long enough runway to yet find out. Sufficient, it’s safe to say.
Anything else new?
The 2015 Juke-R gets a host of fresh carbon fibre bodywork – check out the square-jawed new front bumper – said to bring it visually in line with the recently facelifted Juke. If you squint, maybe.
Your passenger won’t be fooled. Where you’d find the rear seats on a normal Juke lurks instead a cobweb of scaffolding designed to stop the poor little crossover doing its best fusilli pasta impression when you mash the throttle.
There are, admittedly, a few more concessions to comfort in the cabin than before, most notably a smart set of Recaro bucket seats complete with four-point harnesses. The centre console – complete with dizzying array of read-outs and switchgear – is transplanted straight from the GT-R.
So how is it to drive?
Daft. Let’s be honest, very few people have ever driven a GT-R, only to think: ‘Know what would make this better? If it was shorter. And taller. And looked a bit like a Juke.’
(source: Top Gear)
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